Verizon Needs Leadership!

If you read my other blog, http://eyeonthings.blogspot.com - you know that I've had trouble getting help for my voice mail system.
Well, today I realized how a lack of leadership has impacted the steward of that system...Verizon.

I decided to call the 1-800-870-0000 voice mail help line a few days ago and learned that you can't access a real person, which means that if your request isn't one of their prompts you're out of luck. So...I scoured my Verizon bill and found the phrase: "Visit verizon.com 24 hours a day or call 1-800-VERIZON (1-800-837-4966)" at the top of page 2. Like a good trooper I did just that only to get a BUSY SIGNAL!! I called the number a few more times and voila! THE SAME BUSY SIGNAL. Keep in mind...this is the PHONE COMPANY I'm talkin' about - THE PHONE COMPANY!!

Fortunately I know that Verizon Wireless is a lot more customer service friendly.
My ethics are in a quandry. Do I call Verizon Wireless for a land line problem or continue to be frustrated and try to get a hold of a real person on the land line side on my own?

I call Wireless. Debbie answers. I explain my frustration. All I want to do is re-record my initial greeting so that I can drop a person and add a new one. That's it! HELP!! She understands and stays on the line while she transfers me to Landlineville.
Three transfers later Debbie and I are recognizing how absurd the entire process is.
Each transfer requires that I enter the phone number I'm calling about - mine.

Eventually a real woman gets on the line. I, once again, explain my problem and she tells me to hold while she gets my "access number." She then informs me to call it and hit prompt "9." At least she "thinks it's 9." Hmm...my confidence is not soaring off the charts here. After her prompt instructions, she then tries to sell me Vios! Verizon's TV/Internet package. I, of course, tell her that having just gone through "customer service hell," I doubt that I'd be moving anything away from Comcast (even though I think their prices are a bit outrageous...at least their customer service is good). I hang up with Ms. Saleslittleservice after she has no viable response.

Debbie is still with me. She's in disbelief. We proceed to discuss what just happened and she assures me that the Wireless side has nothing to do with its older sibling. After a few more minutes...she leaves me to call the "access number" while wishing me luck.

Well, the "access number" only accesses the mail boxes (which I can also access through the regular number). Ms. Saleslittleservice has morphed into Ms. Salesabsolutelynoservicewhatsoever.

I call repair (knowing full well that I don't need repair at all).
I speak with a male who, while understanding my situation completely, has to write up a work order. Wait, "Can't I just be transfered to a person who can tell me how to make the changes I'm trying to accomplish?" I ask him. "No" he answers...there's really no phone number to transfer you to, or for you to call. They should call you by 3:00 today. Hold on now...this is the PHONE COMPANY and they have no PHONE NUMBER that they can transfer me to so that I can speak to someone who can help me resolve what, to me, seems like a relatively minor situation?

What kind of company am I dealing with? Where's the individual and corporate leadership? Who takes charge? Nobody.

I'll know by 3:00 if Mr. Workorder was sincere. Besides that...hopefully by 2010 "Don" should be prompt number 3. If not...Don, you'll just have to change your name to "Rod!"

And - Thank You Debbie. You are the one Verizon customer service bright spot!!

The phone JUST rang (as I was hitting the second exclamation point key in the previous sentence). It's Lisa from Verizon. She tells me that all I have to do is call my "access number" and get into my mailbox to make the change. I tell her that that only gets me into my personal sub-mailbox and that I have a multiple system. She tells me that I don't!!!!!!!!!!!!

I get transfered to Mrs. Childress in customer service who tells me the same thing. I now know that I'm in another universe (not a parallel universe - 'cause in that one I'd have multiple mailboxes too, just a completely different universe). After my insistence that I have multiple mailboxes, I tell her to call me on another phone and that I won't pick up. She puts me on hold and does it. Upon her return she confirms my lunatic belief, except she says that I have three sub-mailboxes (I have 8...I let it go - I don't have enough Excedrin).

I have now entered Zargon - a land of alien beings from Einstein's Space/Time Continuum. Timothy Leary has nothin' on me at this point. I've found the magic to a completely new reality and am privy to the fact that Verizon is not a company at all, but the name of a Solar System in that other universe I mentioned above.

There's hope. Mrs. Childress is actually helpful, apologetic and nice. She promises to get to the bottom of everything and call me back by 6:00.

Just in case...Don, get that name change application ready.

This whole event gives new meaning to that intergalactic greeting, "Take to me to you your leader!"